I WAS TRAINED IN FIRE
I’ll never forgive the ocean. The only thing that makes me cry are certain shades of green. I avoid certain receipes & organic deodorants. I read your diary a month after you left me. The standard of a bad person in my friend group is based off of someone I once loved. We often think bad people will come to some sort of reflection or a full circle karma moment from the harm they’ve committed. However, in real life, most of them never do. By the time you catch up, I’ll be somewhere else. Potential isn’t actually real. Thanks, you’re a million. We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it. You claim to have good taste, but your only means of expressing it is through criticism. Let’s do the right thing today. I think you’re a bad person. I didn’t want to have sex with her out of respect. Head honcho. The real deal. Willy Nilly. Ol switcharoo. Delete the memories of past lovers in order to fully love the person in front of you. They’re after me. You should work on yourself. I lived in the mountains of a rural desert town where I slept on the floor of a trailer home & shot rabbits with pellet guns for food. You can’t trust your friends because they’re not your friends. I’ve never been threatened by someone like you. My 2nd suicide attempt was a year & a half ago. I still believe things will be okay. When you grow up poor, a lot of your first friendships are just trauma bonds. My fear of failure is the reason I’ve succeeded. We suffered a lot & when I thought it was over, we suffered some more. I dated a poet who was unable to write poems about me. He didn’t even know your favorite color. I miss you when I leave. I am always witholding a decent amount of information. The only mistakes I make are the ones I make on purpose. No more idols. An atheist who doesn’t believe in themselves either. These days I burn sage, but it doesn’t do much. Even the things you do when you’re angry represent who you are. Woman with eyes full of tears. When it’s time to face God, look in the mirror. You’ll never find me out there. It’s not easy being this ugly. Let’s focus on the things you’re good at instead. Stop handing me stuff & getting mad when I drop it.